


Stressed out daddy to be Blaine + Diva babymama Rachel= Unfortunate husbands Jesse and Kurt

by lostinfictionalworlds



Series: Forevermore [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Daddies, Future, Happy families, M/M, baby bump, diva baby mama Rachel, stressy daddy to be Blaine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 11:58:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3850135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinfictionalworlds/pseuds/lostinfictionalworlds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's pretty much in the title. Some humorous fluff from pregnant!Rachel, daddies!Klaine and Mr Nice Guy Jesse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stressed out daddy to be Blaine + Diva babymama Rachel= Unfortunate husbands Jesse and Kurt

“Blaine I swear to god if you don’t get off of me, I’m going to throw you against that wall…”

 

“Rachel, you’re tense. Your shoulder’s need massaging. Where is your stress ball? Squeeze your stress ball, honey…”

 

“I’m going to squeeze you. Ugh, the lighting in this room is not right.”

 

Blaine fiddles with the blinds and curtains. “Would you like some more tea? Some ice chips?”

 

“I would like this baby to hurry the hell up so I can have my body back, drink a _real_ iced coffee and get far away from _you_!”

 

“You’re not full term yet, sweetie. Just a few more weeks, keep that baby cooking for us.”

 

Blaine is keeping his voice calm, soft and gentle. Much like he did when Rachel was having her opening night meltdown for Fanny. Frankly, it didn’t help Rachel back then, and its most certainly not helping her right now.  

 

“I. Am. Going. To. Cook. You! Ugghh! It’s too hot… get my mini fan!”

 

“Let me fan you with this instead.” Blaine calls happily as he hops up to reach for a bunch of pregnancy guides to wad them up in is hands. “It will be more authentic. You don’t need that buzz and false battery operated rush of air.” He winks and Rachel grunts loudly at him.

 

“Where is my freshly squeezed juice?”

 

“Rachel, we’ve talked about this, only one glass every three hours. Do you need an extra pillow?”

 

“Yes. Give me that pillow.”

 

“Ow!”

 

“Ok you two, time out. Blaine get in here. Now.” Kurt calls loudly through the open doorway leading through to Rachel and Jesse’s kitchen.

 

“I can’t believe you actually hit me with that pillow.”

 

“Oh I’ll do more than that, Blaine Warbler! Where’s my CD? I need the sounds of the ocean…”

 

“I’ll sing to you.”

 

“Don’t you dare open your mouth!”

 

“Oh my god. I’m actually going to strangle both of them.” Kurt mutters under his breath, loudly. He groans and rubs at his temples, dropping his head into his hands.

 

Jesse chuckles from where he’s standing across from Kurt, leaning against the island counter top. He continues sipping his tea. “Now, now Kurt. Mass murder is just uncalled for. One of them is the love of your life and the other is the mother of your unborn child. Choose wisely.”

 

Kurt manages to huff out a breathy laugh just as Blaine stumbles over the threshold into the kitchen, his arms full of wet towels, bottles of lotion and other pointless items.

“Honey, come on. Leave Rachel alone now, she doesn’t need you fussing over her all the time.”

 

“She does.” Blaine huffs, dropping all of his stuff on to the marbled tiled countertops, tidying things away into drawers and boxes and baskets all labelled as ‘Rachel’s Must Haves’ in Blaine’s scribbled handwriting. He folds his arms across his chest. “Kurt, she’s giving us something pretty special here. It’s the least we can do to show her we’re here for her.”

 

“Blaine, there is showing her that we care and then there is suffocating her until she hates us, and instead of baby Anderson-Hummel being born into a loving environment, it’s born into one where it’s parents and godparents all hate each other!”

 

Blaine’s eyes go wide, and Kurt braces himself for the backlash.

 

“Ok. I think you _two_ need a time out.” Jesse says, pointing at them, he puts his empty cup in the sink. “Go for a walk, get out of my house. Have some lunch, and just _like_ each other or something. Blaine stop stressing my wife and Kurt stop stressing your husband.”

 

Jesse all but pushes them out into the hallway, through the door and out on to the front stoop. Rachel calls out a rather jovial “goodbye” from her camp on the living room couch.

 

“Come back tonight, when hopefully my wife will be speaking a little more kindly. I’ll make dinner, we can talk about Rachel’s Tony win to get her on your good side again, and then Blaine, if you still insist on it you can approach the subject of that water birth you were raving about, if you feel brave enough.”

 

Jesse waves them off and closes the door, leaving the couple to walk down the steps and out on to the street, tails tucked between their legs.

 

Kurt reaches for Blaine’s hand as their sides bump together, he entwines their fingers and leads his husband along the side walk toward their favourite Mediterranean restaurant. “I love you, you know.”

 

Blaine smiles back at him, and then looks both ways before they cross the street. “I know. I love you too. So much. I can’t wait to be a father with you, Kurt.” Blaine squeezes their hands together tightly and let’s out an appreciative moan as they approach the restaurant. “Oooh, maybe we could take Rachel back one of those vegan wraps she likes?”

 

“I think that’s a great idea.” Kurt says, holding the door open for Blaine to walk through first. Blaine beams at him.

 

“Rachel knows that I love her, right?” Blaine asks, after they’re shown to a small rounded table by the far window and have ordered their drinks. “She knows, that I just care, probably too much, but it’s all from love, because what she’s doing for us is just…”

 

He trails off and Kurt reaches for his hand over the table top. “I know honey, I know. And yes Rachel knows too. But unless there will ever be a day when men can reproduce and have to carry around a bowling bowl in their stomachs with the knowledge that they will have to eventually squeeze it out of unthinkable areas…we really don’t know what she’s going through. So maybe we could just ease up unless she asks something specific of us?”

 

Blaine grins and nods at him, then sets to work looking at his menu. The server brings their drinks, takes their food orders and after scribbling their autographs and a sweet note on a napkin for her to hide in her tabard, Kurt and Blaine relax back into their seats, clinking their soda glasses together.

 

“You know what?” Blaine starts after sucking through his straw and swallows, his eyes shining in that way which means there’s an idea coming and it could be really great or really, really bad. “After this, we should go to that place down on fifth, and get Rachel one of those huge, rubber gym balls. You know the kind she can sit on and lie down on and stuff?”

 

“And we’d do that because?” Kurt asks evenly and carefully, his eyebrow only half arching upward. Blaine rolls his eyes and huffs out a sound that means Kurt should just _know_.

 

“Because her back is giving her trouble and that would help.”

 

“Has she told you that her back is giving her trouble?”

 

“No. But that’s what usually happens during this stage of pregnancy. And when I helped her sit up on the couch earlier, I could feel that her bones were really stiff and…”

 

“Blaine, you’re doing it again.” Blaine hangs his head, stares down at the table.

 

“I’m gonna be such an annoying dad, huh?” He mumbles, shrugging his shoulders. Kurt leans over the table, places both of his hands on Blaine’s shoulders and straightens him up, gives him a little playful shake.

 

“You’re gonna be an awesome dad, so caring and kind and considerate. The kind of dad that is so invested and involved in everything to do with his kid. The kind of dad that every kid could ever want.” Blaine blushes, and grins at Kurt shyly.

 

“…And I’ll be the dad that will come to your rescue, when said kid and their birth mom gangs up on you for third wheeling their ‘get me away from my crazy dad’s day.’”

 

Blaine’s jaw drops and Kurt laughs at his bewildered expression. “Hey, this stuff will happen. Not everything is going to be smooth sailing and perfect. Fatherhood is hard, and that starts even before the baby gets here. It’s ok to make mistakes, that’s how we learn. Just don’t piss off the lady too much who’s giving you the child to make these mistakes with.”

 

They both chuckle, until Kurt’s phone buzzes from where he laid it on the table. Jesse St James’ face pops up on the screen and Blaine goes white and deadly still. Kurt shakes his head at him and answers the call.

 

“Hello, Jesse?” Blaine hears the muffled sounds of voices on the other end of the line, watches how Kurt’s eyebrows draw together in deep thought and then how they widen and snap open to Blaine.

 

“Oh my god, Blaine. Do you have a death wish? Where did you hide Rachel’s damn mini fan?”    


End file.
